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Archives
August 27, 2008
"Interpreting Conversations"
Dear Friend,
I am a participant in a men’s small group. We recently discussed a book titled, Crucial Conversations. This work studied why important conversations go bad, and how to be more effective in hearing and speaking during stressful conversations.
One of the main reasons why important conversations go poorly is how listeners interpret what they hear. The book identifies four important moments:
“See-Hear” – In conversations we both see and hear our fellow participants.
“Story” – This is the interpretation phase in which we place what we see and hear into a broader context.
“Feelings” – When we interpret what we see and hear, certain feelings arise because of our interpretations. These feelings may be good or bad.
“Act” – We choose behaviors based upon our feelings and interpretations.
Often we see and hear during conversations, and with very little self-awareness, make interpretations which produce strong feelings. We come to believe that our feelings are based upon what we saw and heard, rather than our interpretations. This process profoundly affects our actions.
Faith does its most profound work in the realm of interpretation. It inspires healthy, optimistic and gracious interpretations of what we see and hear. Faith encourages the feelings of love, joy and well-being. I encourage you to permit faith to have its perfect work in your life.
Doc
Dr. Dave Collings
Lead Pastor
Christ Church
